Break
by Ms. Mochi
Summary: Naruto had never given any thought of the vast styles of fighting. There was the Rock Lee’s Goken and Neji’s Juken, but, wasn’t there more to Taijutsu than that? Could one really use the art of dance in battle?
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto

It's a stupid idea. If you have high expectations for this fic, please go away. It saves me the trouble of reading flames or 'i hate u & ur stori' pms.

--

Training.

"ACKK!!"

"Idiot! I told you to put more Chakra into it! Evenly level your feet as you step onto the water!!"

That's what Ebisu may have called it. Trying not to be BOILED alive in BOILING HOT water may have been training to him, but Uzumaki Naruto knew what it was to him.

"HOT! HOT! HOT!!"

A waste of his time.

"I said MORE not LESS!!" Ebisu barked to the submerged blonde.

Crawling out of the hot spring and resting flat on the cool dirt, Naruto shot his fist in the air with his middle finger stretched out.

"Fuck you!"

"Maybe if you concentrated more, you'd probably-"

"I think this is women's section! We made it!"

Naruto watched as Ebisu's face turn a dark red hue accompanied with a deep scowl. He turned to the fence dividing them and the women occupied in the hot springs. A lanky man, on the shoulders of a larger tanned man, looked over the fence cautiously.

"Pervert scoundrels," Ebisu crouched low. "I won't let such behavior go unpunished!"

Ebisu jumped towards the two with his fist back, ready to strike the tall and thin man and his companion. The skinny man back flipped off of the back of the other man. With his legs high up in the air, he landed effortlessly on his head.

"N-no way!" Naruto muttered to himself. He saw the guy more clearly now that he was facing his no…more like closet pervert's direction. The guy was lacking his upper limbs. "He has no arms!!"

Naruto watched as his temporary instructor punch the upside-down man's stomach. Instead of withering in pain, the man used his two feet to wrap around Ebisu's head, spinning himself and Ebisu with him.

'_T-this technique!! Its-'_

Naruto watched as in awe as the man carelessly let go of Ebisu as his continued spinning, flinging the man over the…fence. The other two men, too, flinched in fear as they saw Ebisu fly right into the women's section. A chorus of angry cries came from the other side.

"OH MY GAWD!!"

"It's that perv, Ebisu!!"

"M-Mitarashi-san?! What a pleasant surprise-"

A sickening crunch filled the air with a high-pitched scream.

"Oh shit…" the thin man turned to Naruto. "C'mon kid, we got to get the hell out of here!!"

Naruto nodded frantically as he pushed himself off the ground, following the two men out of the area.

--

"So that guy, Ebesu?" Naruto corrected him. "Ah! Okay. So _Ebisu_ was training you for those Chunin Exams and what not?" the lanky man asked.

Naruto had led the two men from to Ichiraku's. He knew staying to close to the hot springs was dangerous, plus he was starving!

"Yeah, but he was sorta a pansy, wasn't teaching me anything good." Naruto said somberly. He glared at the empty ramen bowl in front of him, cursing its lack of contents. "I really need some hardcore training, ya know?! I gotta kick that Hyuuga bastard's ass!!"

The duo looked at Naruto passively. The tanned man shrugged continuing to eat his own bowl of ramen. The lanky man cursed his lack of fingers and shoved his face into his bowl. Naruto eyed armless man.

"You know…you guys sort of are in my debt now." The two stopped and looked at the blonde; broth dripping off of one of their faces. Naruto continued, "You threw my sensei over to a pack of naked women; ANGRY, BLOODTHIRSTY, NINJA women. So you do sort of owe me."

The two winced at every word the boy had said. It was pretty harsh to throw a fellow man to his doom…maybe he died happy after seeing all those beautiful women…or maybe that painful beating ruined it all for Ebisu.

The lanky man hastily rose from his seat along with his companion. The tanned man left money on the table as the left towards the street. Naruto ran after them.

"Hey! What up!" Naruto yelled. He quickly caught up with them, noticing the way they walked…

Wasn't that called strutting?

They dismissed his presence and continued as if he wasn't there.

"Look kid. As you've noticed, we aren't really the _ninja_ type and I sorta lack arms…" Naruto snorted.

"Don't act innocent! I saw how you defeated Ebisu! Single hand-" The man scowled. "I-I mean without any fancy jutsu or nothing!"

"I can't teach you that, kid. You ain't ready for that sorta stuff. You need the dedication and experience for that sort of technique!"

Naruto ran in front of the two, stopping their stylish pace.

"Then teach it to me!"

The lanky man met Naruto's burning blue eyes. His scowl deepened.

"What did you say your name was, kid?"

His companion moaned; his friend was an idiot at times…

"It's Uzumaki Naruto, not 'kid'!"

The man smiled.

"That's a nice name…" Naruto beamed.

"D-Does that mean-?!"

"Good luck on that tournament!" The man turned the other direction with his friend following him.

"HEY!! YOU BASTARD!! COME BACK!!"

--

"H-He's still following us…isn't he?" the armless man asked.

His large tan skinned companion nodded tiredly. Naruto had followed them throughout Konoha the entire day, stopping right in front of their apartment.

"Ya think I should just-?"

"Hey, crippled bastard!! Train me!!" Naruto yelled back to them from high tree branch. 'Crippled bastard' shook at the name.

"I'M NOT CRIPPLED, YOU LITTLE SHIT!!"

"Then prove it by training me!!"

'Cripple bastard' growled as his pal chuckled behind him. Sighing, he fell on his behind motioning the youngster to do the same. Naruto did so with a smug smirk.

"You planning on givin' up, cripple?"

"Call me cripple again and you can say 'good bye' to this chance you're getting right now." Naruto shut his mouth. Exhaling the man continued, "I need a favor, kid. There's a lady, back at the hot springs. She has something I want."

"Sure! Sure! I get that thing from her and you start teaching me?!" The lanky man nodded miserably. "OKAY!"

Naruto ran off, before coming straight back,

"What does she look like again?"

"What did I get myself into?"

--

"I-I got it!" Naruto pulled out a small, square case from his back pocket. "It wasn't easy, but I got it! Paranoid bitch…" He tossed the case to the armless man. "Catch!"

The man missed completely because of his missing of hands. Watching it fall to the ground, the large man picked it up for him.

"Thanks, Jan."

The man dubbed 'Jan' nodded.

"Okay! Okay are we gunna start training or what?! I'm ready, 'ttebayo!"

"Calm the hell down, kid. You're gonna go through the simple stuff before you get anywhere." He nodded to Jan.

Jan went through the front door and came back with a pair of…very large, pants. The same type Jan and 'crippled bastard' was wearing.

"Neon orange or neon red?" Naruto heard Jan say for the first time. His voice was smooth and deep, a weird but understandable combination.

"W-What is that?"

"Here's lesson number one, kid! You always look you're best when you train with us! Got it?" The still unmanned man said. Naruto blinked.

"No…not really."

"Kid! You have to look good when you dance!" he barked.

"D-Dance?! I thought this was Taijustu training!!"

The man gave a smug smirk.

"After you learn from my style of fighting, there won't be any need for any more Taijustu junk! It's good ol styling 'Burekingu' with Ponchi-sensei!"

"B-Burekingu?"

"Correct! Uzumaki Naruto, from this day on you'll learn only me and Jan's style! Burekingu! No bitching, either!"

"What kind of name is Ponch-"

"NO BITCHING!!"

--

Boredom is a terrible thing. It makes us do stupid things. I think this would count as a crack fic right? But it is hardly funny… maybe the idea itself is crack.

'Burekingu' - Breaking

If you know what I mean by 'breaking'…kudos to you.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, Parachute Pants or any songs here.

--

"Okay! So…how do you feel?"

"…Honestly?"

"Yes, honestly!"

"I-I think my groin has been ripped in half."

Ponchi looked over from the mail on his table to the blonde haired boy currently performing a split on his living room floor.

"That means you're doing it correctly. Right, Jan?"

Jan nodded.

"M-Maybe if I used using my other pants and not…" Naruto painfully gestured to his pants. "These…"

Ponchi fully turned around to his temporary student.

"Those are **PARACHUTE PANTS**. **Parachute pants** have been on this earth longer then many us," He pointed his imaginary finger at Naruto. "If you cannot endure our teachings in** parachute pants**, then you are hopeless."

"But they look so STUPID!!

"Only to other people they do. The leggings are loose and the fabric is perfect for enduring the friction between you and the ground. The best sort of pants for beginners!"

"THEN WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING THEM?!"

Ponchi used his imaginary finger to dig through his ear.

"Kid, I don't need parachute pants to protect me. Years of Windmills and Halos have given me the endurance to put up with chafing and burns," He hesitated. "Just think, soon enough you'll be good enough to wear tracksuits."

"Can't I have my jumpsuit back?"

"No bitching."

"…I can't feel my legs."

--

After minutes of getting his legs back in place and adjusting his orange parachute pants, Ponchi had led Naruto to the basement of Jan and his apartment.

"Whoa!"

Naruto looked around; amazed at the scene before him. There was civilian technology in ever corner. Dozens of huge boxes playing music, large racks filled with…CDs? Is that what they called it?

He stopped to look at the cut out cardboard box, flat on the cement floor.

"This is where most of your lessons will take place, got it?" Ponchi waited as he received a nod. "Good. First you must master the total concept of dancing."

Ponchi used his feet to push one of the buttons on one of the larger boom boxes. Suddenly, all the music ceased. He pushed another button.

A song started to play.

_Don't make fun of it! Don't destroy it! Don't cheapen it!_

_That one thing everyone has that they won't give up._

_Only love! Only dreams! Only you!_

_Those are the things I won't ever let go, ever._

The music stopped.

"What did you feel when you heard that?"

"Whadda you mean?" Naruto asked causing Ponchi to snort. "Hey!"

"Whadda ya mean 'whadda ya mean'?" Ponchi mocked. "What you felt! It ain't that hard of a question!"

"I-I felt…" Naruto close his eyes in frustration. "Could you play it again?"

Ponchi drew a long breath and pressed play.

_On nights when I can't settle down no matter what, _

_I just want to throw anything and everything away._

_Don't bitch and complain, just open the door, ya know._

_I don't have time to quibble with you._

Naruto closed his eyes.

"Soooo?"

"I feel like...like the time I threw a huge prank on the entire village," Naruto gave a cruel smirk. "Heh, heh…they spent in entire week trying to fix those sewers."

"Did you feel anything else? Didja wanna throw your arms in the air and trash your house? Didja wanna run outside to cause a muck?" Naruto nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah! Yeah!"

"I see…" A sly grin grew on the older man's face. "Now where getting somewhere!"

--

"_-araway galaxy we promised each other! PEGASASU FANTAJII!! Yes, only dreams are the wings of the heart no one can steal!!"_ Ponchi 'sang' as Naruto joined him.

It had been like this for past hour; singing and dancing crazily to songs familiar songs. Naruto had remembered this song from a terribly old cartoon that was shown years ago and luckily enough; was showing freely in front of a television store…

"_-SAINT SEIYA!! …The great men of tomorrow! OH YEAH!! SAINT SEIYA!! Like the Pegasus… SAINT SEIYA!! …Flap your wings nowwww!!"_

They stopped singing as the rest of the guitars and drums slowly ceased. Jan shook his head at the two…idiots…

"I wish I had a girl like Shaina…" Naruto said wistfully as he fell upon the floor.

"Man…don't we all?" Ponchi sat right next to him as he pressed the STOP button with his toe. "But, you do understand what we were doing that entire time, right?"

Naruto shook his head, he had no idea what or why they were singing and prancing around the room.

"That was...an introduction of what were gonna do later…" Ponchi placed his nonexistent hand on his head. "What we did...we…-Fuck it! Dancing is music body flowing through your body, your body's interpretation to music, rhythm, beats and so on!"

"What?"

Jan spoke up instead.

"Music was making its way through your body. Your voice singing and your body moving; all the music's doing."

"What?"

"Gah…I have no idea what I'm saying anymore! Shit…" Ponchi shook his head wildly. "Dammit! Just do another split! Make it last… 20 minutes."

"WHAT?! NO WAY IN HELL, CRIPPLE!!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME YOU LITTLE SHIT STAIN?!"

--

"Ouch…Do I have to wear these when I get out?" Naruto rubbed his sore legs hidden under the orange nylon pants. "I'd rather not be seen with these at all."

"Bitch! Didn't I tell you earlier? 'You always look your best when you train with us'?"

"I look better without these pants."

"Only to other people. Dancers alike love to see people wear stuff like this…"

"Not many people in the village are dancers, cripple," Naruto said with a deadpan expression.

"True, true. But dancers alike also hate to see posers. Those who can't dance and dress like they could," Ponchi would've cracked his fingers menacingly if he had any… But Jan was doing a good job otherwise.

"Posers get jumped," Jan said with a flat tone.

Naruto gulped, ignoring what ever 'jumped' meant or how people would get pissed at something so stupid.

Those cracking fingers were so frightening.

Jan threw Naruto his orange jumpsuit.

"Make sure you come back with those parachute pants, kid! They cost money!"

"Whatever," With a wave, Naruto jumped out the door onto a nearby tree.

…

"Why are we helping that kid again?" Jan asked to his companion. Ponchi threw the tree a weak glare as he turned.

"Ehh…it's not like we have anything else to do," Jan nodded in agreement. "Plus, who wouldn't like to see a break dancing ninja in the finals of the Chunin Exam?"

Jan nodded again.

--

Nothing is happening…in mah fic… It's utterly boring.


End file.
